Mom: “It is okay Tanay, tomorrow is your dad’s birthday.

We will plan something for his birthday.

You know he loves you. He is just worried about you. That’s all.”

Me: “But Mom, Dad never celebrates his Birthday! Remember how he sent his friends and colleagues away when we planned for a surprise last year?

I do not know why he does not celebrate his birthday. All those people really felt bad. He could have at least thanked them for coming!

I am not sure if he would like it this time either and I am not going to go through another round of quarrel with him!”

Mom: “Let us not call anybody home tomorrow. We will bake a special cake for him before he comes home from work. Sounds Fun?

And I am sure this time he might not do something like that…”

Me: “Fine! As long as it changes his mood and gets me my keys back! Love you Mom. Thank you for being there.”

January 01, 2018:

It was my birthday yesterday. My Dad gifted me a brand new “Bajaj Dominor”. It took me 2 years of requesting, coaxing, quid-pro-quo’s and all kinds of “any modes that you can think of to please your dad to give you your favourite bike” to make him get it for me. And today, it took him only 2 minutes to take it away from me……..

December 31, 2017:

Usually, it would have been any lazy Sunday for me had it not been my Birthday that day… I got up excited! It was my birthday and a new year for me!

And well, technically for the whole world as well.

“Tanay!! Wake up and come out. There is something that you might want to see!” shouted my Dad.

I could not believe my eyes when I saw that the “Something” that my dad was referring to, is a black colour Bajaj Dominor in front of our house with a note that said “Happy Birthday Son!-Love Dad & Mom”.

It was a dream come true!

“Thank you Dad! This is the best birthday gift ever!” I said hugging both of them.

Just when I was thinking that my life is a blessing, my whole world started to fall apart.

I partied the whole night. And on public demand, I decided to participate in a small race. The race was just for fun. If I knew what would happen next, I would never have agreed for it!

There were 5 bikes, we were all set to start the race….. 3……2………….. Tanay!

Me: “Dad??!”

I did not expect him to be here.

He did not say anything. He just took out the keys from the bike and said “Sit in the car. We are going home.”

Neither of us spoke on the way back home.

Once we reached home, he said “I am selling that bike tomorrow. No more discussions regarding this. Go to your room, I do not want to listen to anything.”

“But Dad…..” I said,

Dad: “Tanay, I said go to your room. And no more discussions!”

Me: But Dad! What big mistake did I do that you want to sell the bike! You just gave it to me in the morning!”

Dad: “I had a strong feeling that I was making a mistake by giving you the bike. Now I know that my gut instinct is right.

You are not getting the bike and this is final. If I hear one more word from you, I will be forced to send you away to the Boarding School that I was talking about.”

“It is not fair Dad!” I said and left.

This is not fair! He did not even give me a chance to talk. It is better that I don’t say anything now, because when he gets mad even mom is scared to talk to him.

Now coming to the conversation about my dad’s birthday, January 2^nd is Dad’s birthday. After this fiasco, mom came to console me and she thought that if we plan for a surprise party, his mood might change and he might change his mind of selling the bike away.

After the bike issue, I and Dad did not interact with each other much.

Going forward with Mom’s instincts I and mom started preparing the cake for the evening.

January 2, 2018. Evening 7 PM

Dad: “Supriya, Can I get a cup of coffee?” Is there an issue with electricity? Why is the whole house dark?”

“Supriya?” “Tanay?”

“Happy Birthday Manav!!!!” “Happy Birthday Dad!!” we said in unison…

Dad: “What the hell is happening?

Supriya how many times do I have to tell you that I do not like celebrating my birthday!! And I hate it when you guys plan anything! How many times do I need to tell you that I like to be left alone on this day and to not plan anything ever on my birthday!

Saying this Dad went inside his room and slammed the door behind him.

I and Mom were standing in the middle of the house, with a 2 layered home-baked chocolate cream cake with “Happy Birthday to “Our” world’s best husband and Dad”.

I know dad gets angry but I have never seen dad speaking to mom like that. No matter what and how much ever angry he was with her, he never yelled at her.

She was deeply hurt. She put the cake on the table and walked out in tears.

I could not tolerate the way he was behaving. The other day he behaved in the same manner and I did not even say a single word. I thought “Not today”

I banged on the door shouting “Dad open the door!!” there was no response. I started banging harder.

“Tanay don’t make me angry! Didn’t I just make it clear that I did not want to be disturbed?. Behave properly and go to sleep.” He yelled while opening the door.

I did not know what happened to me or how and from where I gathered the courage. I just stood there in tears and yelled, “I hate you Dad. You are not fit to be a Dad. I wish you were dead. I have never seen mom cry like that. We both made this wonderful cake the whole day and you just had to ruin it. For the first time in my life, I feel that we were stupid to write “Happy Birthday to the best Husband/Dad” thinking you would change and understand our love for you. But you proved us wrong! Because you are such a horrible person and you do not deserve it.” I left the room throwing the cake after saying this.

Dad still standing there, staring down, at the now destroyed cake.

I did not know from where I got all that courage but I did not regret it. He deserved it.

Dad went out to search for mom.

After an hour mom came into my room. Her eyes were swollen.

I guess she cried a lot. I went to hug her.

*Phat*

“Mom, why did you slap me?” “What did I do?”

“How dare you yell at your father?!”

“We might have many differences but that doesn’t give you any right to raise your voice and speak to him like that!”

We both did not talk for a few seconds. Then she took me closer. I feared she would hit me again. But she hugged me tightly and said, “I love you Tanay. Thanks for what you did. But he is your father. I love him, he loves you too. It is just that I have never seen him so angry.”

Me: “Sorry Mom”

Mom: “I will talk to him. You go to sleep now. Good Night.”

It has been a week now. Neither of us spoke of that night. I and Dad have not made eye contact with each other till now.

When he comes home, I retire into my room and I only come out when mom tells that dad has either left for office or he has gone inside his room.

I still did not get my bike back. But dad was serious about selling it. Thankfully he is yet to find a suitable buyer.

Mom tried a lot to make me talk to Dad.

Uh-Uh, nothing would make me do that.

January 14, 2018. Sunday at 4 PM.

I and mom were watching a movie in the hall and dad walked in. I stood up to go back to my room. Before I could go, dad spoke for the first time since his birthday.

Dad: “Supriya, Tanay. I know I hurt you both. I am really sorry for hurting you.

Tanay can you please sit down. I owe you guys an explanation of why I was angry and behaving like that and why I get annoyed when you guys plan to celebrate my birthday. You have the right to know.”

This happened when I was your age Tanay….. I lost my Dad to a road accident. Someone hit him and left him on the middle of the road, to die.

Mom: “We know that Manav…..”

Me: “Dad, do you mean to say that you were worried about me harming somebody in the same way and is that why you don’t want me to drive again??”

Dad: “Please let me finish Tanay.

You all know that my Dad left my family on my birthday. But you need to listen to what I am going to say next to know the real reason behind it.

I have never shared this story with anyone. Not even with your mom Tanay.

My Dad gifted me a Yamaha bike on my birthday! It was my dream come true. I was so happy that day! We had a big party at home. It was the happiest moment of my life. After the party, my friends suggested that we go out for a ride and have some fun in the night. I said “why not! We should take the baby out for a ride!

My dad seeing that I was getting ready, asked me where I was going. I said I want to go out and spend some time with my friends.

My dad didn’t like the idea of me hanging out with my friends. He never liked them. But as they were my best friends he never said that to me directly. But this time he did not hold back. He said that I was not going anywhere and also that he never liked my friends. We both had a quarrel. I was angry with him because he was not allowing me to go out with my friends just because he didn’t like them and that too for no reason at all. I stormed out of the house yelling that I hated him and how I wish he was not my father. I think that was the last time I ever spoke to him……

We were four people on two bikes. I was driving one bike and my friend another. To lighten the mood they said that we should go for a long drive to the Necklace road. It is an amazing place. And it is a dream for any youngster with a bike to go for a night ride on that road.

It is the most peaceful places in the city at night. You can see the tank bund and at one corner stands the statue of Lord Buddha, giving his blessings to everyone who passed by that road. The tank is surrounded by parks and roads as if to decorate it like a necklace. In a busy city like this, if you want greenery and the feeling of a beach nearby this is the best place for you.

We had fun and spent some time there just sitting idle, enjoying the clear sky and the cool breeze.

After some time one of my friends said that it is getting really late and we should head back home. My watch displayed that it was 11:45 PM. It indeed is too late.

I was scared to death. Don’t know what my dad will again say for being late. I did not want to be yelled at again and spoil such a beautiful day. At least not on my birthday I told myself.

We started back home. The roads were completely empty as most of them were at home because yesterday was New Year and it is also pretty late in the night.

On our way back one of my friends suggested “shall we have a race? Anyways we are all headed home, right? Why not a race? A race to home would be best to end Manav’s Birthday with a Bang!”

We all agreed and decided a starting point and an ending point. The course started from Jalavihar, in Necklace Road and we needed to take a complete circle at the roundabout near Prasad’s theatre and head to Koti via Badichowdi.

I didn’t want to lose the race and that too with my brand new bike! The moment he said ready get set go, I raced off at top speed and left my friend behind. I exited the roundabout at Prasad’s and was on full throttle. We crossed the Lumbini park and took the left next to the park. I turned back to see if my friends were anywhere near me.

I felt a slight jerk and within a fraction of seconds everything seemed blurred…….. it took me a few seconds to understand that when I looked back I accidentally swerved right and slightly hit another vehicle that is also on the same road.

I was terrified! I just hit a person and that too with my new bike! My dad would skin me alive if he gets to know about it, as he was not happy with me hanging out with my friends and if he knows about this, it will only make things worse for me.

I thought of helping the guy who was on the road. Thought at least help him and make my already shitty day a bit better. I was slowing down my bike so that I can help the poor guy, at that moment my friend shouted. “Manav it is just a small hit, we just touched his bike handle with ours and he lost control. There is nothing to worry about it. I am pretty sure this is not a major accident, perhaps few bruises. He can manage. But if we stop now and if your father gets to know this, we all will be in trouble. Also what if the guy gets up and complains about us to the Police or to your parents? Don’t stop, let us run away. This is the only and best choice. We will be put in jail if the Police gets to knows this. So stop thinking and start the bike. I was hesitant at first but then he was right. I am not ready to risk and go to the police station.”

Without looking back I buzzed off at top speed.

I reached home and was afraid to knock the door. My whole body turned cold. Shiver is a small word. I was trembling from head to toe.

My palms were sweaty.

I could hear my own heartbeat. It felt as if it would break free from my body and come out.

I gathered myself and knocked on the door, praying to God and hoping mom would answer the door.

There was no answer.

Probably I was not loud enough, I knocked again.

This time louder. Still no answer.

Did they choose to not let me in?

Mom please mom not now. I am scared and I need you. Please open the door. I thought to myself while banging on the door, harder this time.

Our neighbour came outside hearing a loud noise. Seeing me she said that nobody is at home and all of them rushed to the hospital. When I asked if anything happened and why they went to the hospital, she said mom didn’t tell her anything. She was crying and just asked her to tell me to come to Fernandez Hospital.

I rushed to the hospital wasting no time.

At the hospital, I saw a few policemen talking to mom. I hid before they could see me…… Did the police officers know about the accident I committed? Were they asking about me?

Oh God! My life is ruined. I prayed to God to save me this one time and I will always listen to dad. After speaking to mom for a few more minutes the police officers left. I ran towards her and hugged her tightly.

“Manav! Thank god you are back.” Mom said.

Dad (Manav): “Yes mom, I am sorry that I came late. Why are you here? What happened?”

“There is nothing to worry Manav, dad had some problem so we came to the hospital. Why don’t you go and sit with your sisters? They are all alone.” She said.

I sat with both my sisters holding their hands and praying that all should end well and that we go home soon. I was praying so that nobody knows about the accident and also that the police officers do not take me away forever.

After a few minutes, mom joined us too. We all were sitting there. A doctor approached us and said “I am really sorry” I was wondering why he was saying sorry to us? My mom broke down as soon as she heard the doctor. The doctor then said “we tried our best to save him but you were late by just a few minutes. There was huge blood loss and we couldn’t save him. Had someone seen him earlier and called for an ambulance, this would not have happened”

I asked mom what happened. She just hugged me and cried even more.

I was not understanding anything. Why did we come to the hospital, and where is dad? Then another nurse came along with a police officer saying, “Madam we require your signature for the post-mortem. The officer will explain you everything. In the meanwhile, if you sign we will start the process.”

Police Officer: “My apologies madam. This should not have occurred upon you like this. It is the New Year and people drive like crazy and on the top of it, the youngsters these days, they drive as if the whole road is theirs. If an accident happens because of them, they will disappear from the spot as soon as possible, they don’t even dare to wait and help. A Lot of people die like that only madam. Not even once they think, “what would happen if that person was their father, brother or their loved one.” Don’t worry madam, we will try our best to catch the culprit as soon as possible madam.”

I gathered courage and asked the police officer what happened. He said “your father met with an accident near Necklace road, at the Lumbini park junction. There were two bikes who were rashly driving. Probably they were having a race. One of them hit your dad’s bike and he fell unconscious. He was like that on the road for almost half an hour or so until our patrolling van found him and brought him to this hospital.”

Dad: I just stood there staring at him in disbelief. He just broke my world.

No, it’s not the news that broke my world. The fact that the person whom I hit and didn’t wait for was none other than my father!!! And this broke my world when I realized that I made a huge mistake.

I was thinking “Had I been careful and not agreed for a race today my dad would have been alive!”

Had I stopped and helped that day, my dad would have been alive today! I am a criminal! I killed my dad twice! Once with words wishing him to die and again by killing him!

My mother was crying inconsolably. Obviously, how will she not? She loved my dad to the core! He was her world and I just snatched it and threw it away! Both my sisters and mother were crying because they lost dad and I was crying because it was me who killed him. I was responsible for their loss.

It took almost 1 month for mom to come out of the trauma and cope with dad’s loss. She started taking up odd jobs and any jobs that could provide for us. I couldn’t see her struggle like that.

It was me who needs to be suffering. I am the reason for their pain. I decided that I will never let mom or my sisters’ struggle for a living. I sold off the bike and gave the money to my mother. I asked her not to worry about sisters and me. I promised her that I will take up a job and it is my responsibility to ensure my family is happy.

Being the youngest son in the family it was a herculean task for me. But I was determined to do anything. Even if it required risking my life, I was ready as long as my sisters and mom lead a happy life.

The only thing that I had in mind was, “that they should live the same life as if dad is alive and I should do anything to give that.”

For the next 15 years, my only goal was this and it was my repentance.

This is the main reason why I never celebrate my birthday. Every year this day reminds me that I was a horrible person. The day I killed my dad is etched in my memory.

I am really sorry for being angry with both of you. I never told this to you because I was worried that you would me leave me Supriya if you knew about it and I cannot dare to lose you in my life. The main reason I was against giving you a bike and angry when I saw you racing is I didn’t want you to make the same mistake as I did Tanay. I don’t want you to be the reason for someone’s family to lose their dear one.

I know how hard it is for the families who have lost their parents in a road accident. I am not blaming you. It is just the age and I totally understand it.

Really sorry guys. I didn’t want to burden you with my past that is why I never told you about this… But I realized that if I continue the same attitude I might really end up losing both of you.

Me: Really sorry dad I didn’t know all this.

Mom: Manav, you had all of this inside you, for all these years and not even once did it occur to you that you are my husband and I needed to know this? How can you ever think that I would leave you?! Never ever hold anything with you that is troubling you next time! Promise me.

Dad: “I Love you guys!! Tanay, you can have your bike if you promise me not to behave hasty while driving because you never know how deep your actions go until it happens to you.”

Be mindful of your actions!
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Me: “I think I can now safely say “Happy Birthday Dad!” you are the best dad!”

After Dad told us about his past, he was really happy. I am hoping that next year he will not hesitate to celebrate his birthday. Because he didn’t know that his actions would lead to such a great loss.

Nobody is perfect. We do a lot of mistakes and act hastily without knowing what the other person is going through. My Dad had to suffer for almost 30 years before he could confess about his mistake. Time once lost can never be brought back. I request all of you who read this, please think of what would happen if the same happens to your family?

Yes, it is fun to drive crazy and fast but our fun should not be at the cost of someone else’s family’s loss. We are allowed to have fun while driving, but we should also be responsible because they say “most of the time accidents depend 20% on our driving and the remaining 80% depends upon the opposite person’s driving.”

 

Note: This is just a story and not a real life incident. I was inspired by a real life incident that happened to my friend and thought of creating road safety awareness. This is dedicated to my friend Shyam Charan.

All the characters in the story are fictitious. The names of the places are used only to depict the story. Hope you thoroughly enjoyed the story.