Just like most people, I thought I cannot be defeated nor can I be wrong. I felt like I cannot become a failure because I work hard and there was no way all my efforts will go in vain, but I was wrong. Just like anybody else, I experienced ups and downs in my life. Though I haven’t seen life much when I did fail, at this point in my life, I did hit rock bottom. I was at a job where I was not happy with where my career path was going, I started an online business with the hopes that it becomes a huge success, and much to my shock, it came crumbling down and I was not able to make that business a success. I was failing both personally and professionally. Amidst all this, I lost my job. I panicked because everything in my life started falling apart and I became exactly what people told me “a failure”.

My life came to a standstill. I was shattered. I became what I feared I would become “a failure”. And that fear became so deep-rooted even 3 years post these incidents, my life is still controlled by the fear of losing a job, fear of being a failure. I realized that I was afraid because I was told that failure is very bad and that failures are of no good. But in reality, failures play a bigger role in your success than the successes themselves. It took me a lot of time to accept that failures are bad if you let them be and do nothing, never be in fear but then how can one overcome such a fear? Everyone around you has thein versions of solutions. The failure of my online business, loss of job, and failures in personal and professional life were taking a toll on me, and while I was trying to get up on my feet by getting a job and working hard just so I have a roof over my head, covid hit and it made my fear even worse. Many people lost their lives and also lost their jobs during covid. Even today there’s a lot of inflation, the market has fallen and people are still losing jobs and many of them are still in search of a job. Where do I stand amidst all of this?

Today I have a job, what will happen if tomorrow I don’t have one? When all of these thoughts are running through my mind, I remembered an incident that happened in my childhood. I was studying 8th class and during the summer holidays, my mom enrolled me in swimming classes. I loved the water and was very excited to learn to swim. I thought that swimming is going to be fun but I was wrong about it 😂. My coach was a very strict and terrific guy. If we don’t do proper flutter kicks, he would drown us for over 30 seconds or so, so that we do them properly, he would also try to dunk us in the water if we stop in between the laps while swimming and all this was at 3.5 feet of water level. I was so scared of my coach that I learned to complete my lap without stopping in between just so my coach won’t dunk me in the water.

It has been over a month that I have been going to swimming classes and all the students of my batch started swimming in 12ft of water and there I was still swimming in 3.5-5.5ft water. I didn’t want to go deeper and every time my coach called me and asked me to come to 12ft, I used to say “5 minutes sir I will finish this lap and come” or some or the other reason and escape after my time was over. I was so happy that I was tricking my coach and winning. One day I went to the pool and as usual, changed into swimwear and was about to get into the water when my coach called me and said that he wanted to talk about something important. He was asking me how I was doing and how the swimming classes are going and if I have any feedback to give to the coach. And while asking all of these questions he slowly walked me to where the 12ft water is there and out of the blue he just pushed me into the pool.

My whole body went into a shock, I was totally confused, my brain went into a daze and I was gasping for air. I was pretty sure that I was going to die that day in the pool but suddenly my instincts kicked in and I started flailing and my training was put to good use. Slowly I emerged out of the water and I was so glad to see that I am alive and I didn’t die. After a few minutes, my coach called out and said “see you were worried for nothing. All you had to do was keep swimming until you were above the water and you were afraid to do the same.” I was still reeling from the fact that I didn’t drown and suddenly the water there felt so calm and serene. No doubt I agree that I was scared to death about the depth of water but when I rose above the water and got to know how it feels, there was no stopping from then on.

Every day after that until the end of my summer holidays, despite the protests from my coach not to dive in the 12ft, that was my routine. I loved that rush so much. This incident made me remember that I am stuck with the fear of failure just like when I was afraid of drowning and that if I try a little bit harder I might float again and once I am above water, it’s all heaven.

Adulting and adulthood made me forget how it feels when you overcome something and you can’t overcome anything unless you jump into that fear and swim back up.

If you are also paralyzed because of your fear remember that even though the water is deep and you’re scared, remember to keep swimming until you come above the surface. Because that’s where heaven and success are. Don’t let your fear paralyze your vision.