Tag: random thoughts

The Goddess We Worship, The Woman We Forget

Voruganti Pavan Tanay NagLeave a comment

We fold our hands and bow before Goddess Durga, asking her to bless us. Yet, when the same goddess walks beside us in the form of a woman, what do we do?
We mock her.
We humiliate her.
We use her, abuse her, pass her over, ogle at her, disregard her, and disrespect her.

We call India a land of rich culture, traditions, and values. We proudly celebrate our festivals — Navratri, Dussehra, Durga Puja — and remind ourselves of how good always triumphs over evil. Yet, when I look through the “lens of a woman,” this celebration often feels hollow.

For nine nights, we worship the Goddess:

We narrate the story of Durga defeating Mahishasura.

We remember Lord Rama’s victory and his return with Sita.

We perform Ayudha Puja and bow to the tools that sustain us.

But do we bow to the women who sustain us?

Growing up, I saw how different boys and girls were treated. When a boy made a mistake, he was scolded. When a girl made a mistake, she was reminded: “Ladki ho tum. Behave properly.”
Why? At the end of the day, aren’t both children?

Even today, the birth of a girl in many families is looked down upon. A girl is still seen as a “liability.” Why? Because society demands more protection, more restrictions, more compromises for her. Because, one day, she will “leave” her parents’ home and enter her husband’s house. And so, her education becomes an “expense,” her dreams an afterthought. Ironically, the same people who reject the birth of a girl desperately want one as a bride for their sons.

Our customs reinforce this divide. Sons are considered heirs to the family. Daughters are not — because they “take another man’s name.” Children of sons are celebrated as “our children.” Children of daughters somehow “belong to another family.” When a child succeeds, it’s his father’s pride. When a child errs, it’s his mother’s failure.

And when it comes to behavior, the scale tilts again.


If a girl listens to everything she is told, she becomes the “obedient daughter” who has upheld the dignity of the house.


But if she dares to refuse, to question, or to choose her own path, the verdict is quick: “Naak katwa diya tumne. My prestige and name has been ruined.”

And what is expected of women? To run homes flawlessly, to compromise endlessly, to adjust without protest. To work in offices with peak performance, then return home to cook, clean, and care. She must understand everyone. But who truly understands her? Often, not even other women — who, shaped by generations of silence, say: “Yeh sab adjust karna padta hai. Isi tarah chalta hai.”

And yet, during these nine days, the same woman — ignored, burdened, disrespected all year round — is suddenly worshipped as a goddess. Is this devotion, or hypocrisy?

We forget that when everything fails, when every man falters, it is the woman he turns to for strength, comfort, and refuge. Durga herself reminds us — when loved, respected, and honored, she is Shakti, the life force. But when insulted, abused, and wronged, she is Kali — fierce, unstoppable, and terrifying.

As I end this reflection, I bow my head to all the Durgas and Kalis around us and also to my mother and sisters, who have been “My” “shakti“. Thank you for carrying the weight of this world on your shoulders, even when it goes unseen. Without you, there is no life.

May the day come when women are not just worshipped for nine nights, but respected for all their days. Because women are not “equal” to men — they are far more than men can ever be.

The Umbrella kid

Voruganti Pavan Tanay Nag1 Comment

“Hi Ankita, can we meet?”

“Sure Shashank, I was just about to call you to see if we can watch a movie. I am sure you would love this movie.

“Ankita, I don’t have time to go to a movie with you, but there is something really important that I need to talk to you. Can we meet please?”

“Ok done. Hope all is well?”

“Yeah. Let us meet at our usual Nandan café.”

—-40 minutes later —-

“Hey, sorry I am late Shashank. Tell me what did you wanted to talk about?”
“no problem at all Ankita. Sorry that I was abrupt and asked you to meet here. I wanted someone to talk to about something that has been bothering me.”

“Ok, I am all ears, what’s up? Hope you did not make any girl pregnant and you want my help to do something about the pregnancy?!”

“Shut up Idiot! Get your mind out of the gutter. It is always dirty with you. Can’t you, for once, think that there might be something very important other than sex and girls with me?”

“Oh. I am really sorry Shashank. That was insensitive of me. Ok wait, let me try, hmmm…….. sorry nope. I tried but could not think of any other emergency that you would want to talk to me!”

“Ankita!!! (smacks his head) I deserve this for thinking that you would have the maturity to help me out with such a serious matter.”

“ok ok don’t be such a crybaby. I am bringing my serious face. Now tell me. I am listening and I am serious. No more jokes.”

“You remember Palak right? I introduced her to you a few months back?”

“Oh yeah! The girl who can’t seem to take her eyes off you, the one who has been madly in love with you for wait…… almost 2 years now, are we talking about the same Palak?”

“Shhhhhh! Stop making a scene out of it! Yes. I am talking about that Palak only.”

“Well, tell me. Don’t tell me that you knocked her up, because that would be a huge bummer there is a 100% chance that she would murder you and get away with it if you did not reciprocate her love. She is a crazy lady Shashank and mostly she is crazy for you! Just stay away from her bro.”

“Well, that is what I called you to talk about. You know that I have been having problems in the relationships stream for a very long time and I don’t find good women these days?”

“Hey! I am a woman! Don’t you dare to say that there are no good women to date!”

“Well, then would you date me?”
“You?! Chi!! Yuck!!”

“Well, how about that? See this is what I meant when I said, there are no good women to date. That means good women who want to date me. Also, don’t consider yourself as a woman. No one does. Except for that doofus who keeps running behind you like a puppy!”

“Huh.. you are just jealous that he got lucky and you didn’t. Anyway, now back to Palak. What about her.”

“I have known since day one that she is madly in love with me but she just isn’t the one that I want. I mean, she is caring, loving (way too much actually) and as you rightly put it crazy about me and would kill anyone to be with me. I was wondering if I should ask her out on a date. I am scared to not hurt her because she definitely is not my type but since I was not so lucky in the ladies department, I thought of giving her a shot. What would you say? Can you help me how to do it so that even if it doesn’t work, she won’t be hurt?”

“Woah! Woah! Woah! Cool it, tiger! That is way too much information in such a short time! Before I could say anything. Answer me this. Are you sure about her? Do you like her? Or are you just settling for less?”

“I am not exactly sure about her. I have my doubts but I don’t want to miss out on a potential great relationship.”

“haha! Then don’t do it Shashank. You can either be the kid with the umbrella or not but you can’t be both.”

“What are you talking about? What does a kid with an umbrella have to do with all of this?”
“You just said right, other than that doofus nobody else thinks of me as a girl. Well before I said ok to that doofus, I was you. I also had my doubts and I was not sure whether to get into a relationship with him or not. Because he “is not the one I ever wanted nor my type” but I liked him. So when he proposed to me, I did not know what to do and I asked him for some time.

I could not be myself for a few days and it was frustrating. So to calm my nerves, I turned towards my best friends the “Tinkle books”. In that, there was a story of a boy that changed my perspective and I kept it as my moral compass, every time I had my doubts. I hope this story will help you too just like it did to me. So once upon a time, there was a village which faced famine due to the prolonged drought.

The village did not see any rains for almost 2 years and slowly all of their wells, rivers, ponds and lakes dried up. They tried everything they could but nothing worked. So one day, a Sadhu was passing by the village and saw their situation, he told one of the villagers to inform all the villagers to gather around the big banyan tree in the centre of the village by afternoon because he was going to make it rain.

The villager feeling happy rushed into the village to inform about his encounter with the Sadhu. By afternoon the entire village was gathered around the big banyan tree to see if the Sadhu could really make it rain. Amongst all of the villagers, there was a small boy who was standing in the crowd holding an umbrella.

The Sadhu saw this kid and asked him why he brought an umbrella with him. To that, the kid replied, “Well, I wanted to see the rain like anyone else but I did not want to get drenched in it or else my mom would scold me for getting drenched in the rain.” To that the Sadhu replied, “well done kid”. He then turned towards all the villagers and said, “Learn from this small child about the power of belief. All of you have gathered here to witness the rains. But this kid is the only one who believed it would rain.” And almost instantly as if the God was waiting for the Sadhu to finish his closing statement, it started pouring heavily. The entire village started running to look for a shelter so that they wouldn’t get drenched but in all that chaos, only the kid with the umbrella stood and enjoyed the rain. That is when I realized that we all are hopeful and want many things in life.

But we hope with a doubt in our heart thinking if it is true or if it is not the right thing or if it will work out. When you start something with such doubts in your heart, you are sure to see the same results. So, unless you bring an umbrella along with you in such situations, you will always be faced with failures and disappointments because,

“You” have the power to decide.

“Wow! That was a hell of a story. I didn’t know you believed in your love based on a “Tinkle” book story!? No wonder you are crazy and you both are made for each other. Thanks for the pep talk but this is not like the story or books. This is real life. I like her. I really do but I am not so sure if I love her. Also, everyone who knows me tells me that she is not the right one for me and I can do better. And at times I think they are right to some extent because she gets on my nerves and I feel too that she deserves better.

“Shashank, People will be right about things, as long as you let them.”

“Just don’t make any decisions based on other people’s beliefs.

That was the whole point of that story. The kid didn’t believe the villagers or the Sadhu. He just believed that it would rain. And the same goes for you. You have to believe whether it works out or not for you.”

The story of Pulkit and Isha

Voruganti Pavan Tanay NagLeave a comment


Both go home after a long day at work. One is greeted with an empty house and the other with a house full of people. They both have the same life, but 2 different opinions.


Life is so confusing.

What one wishes they never get but what one doesn’t wish they always keep getting it as if life wants to see us suffer.

The same is stories of Pulkit and Isha.


Pulkit, a software employee who has never been away from his family had to travel to Hyderabad for work.

He stays in a small 2 BHK apartment. Every day like clockwork he wakes up in the morning, scrolls Instagram and YouTube until his sleep disappears and then gets up from his bed to get ready for the day. He reaches the office, does his work, talks to a few colleagues and after a long busy day, he comes back home. “This” is his life and routine.

Whether it is an amazing day or a long hard day at the office, he is always greeted with an empty house. He often wonders if this is this his life. Wake up, get ready, work, come home eat sleep and repeat and one day pay bills and die? Being alone made him more reserved and closed off from people.

Many times while watching a funny reel or a video he laughs and wants to show the video to people only to realize that he is the only one watching the video and laughing. Whether happiness or sorrow, he feels like he has nobody to share. Most times, he wishes he had someone to come home to because he dreads the feeling of being all alone.

He thinks how lucky others are who have someone waiting at home for them to share their happiness or sorrow or someone just to listen to what they have to say about their day.

He is envious of such people and keeps wishing he also had such a company. But I guess for now it is a far-fetched dream for Pulkit.

Isha, also a software employee who has never been away from her family, works in Hyderabad. She stays in a flat with her family. Her life is also similar to that of Pulkit but she is always welcomed with a house full of people.

One day while having coffee Isha said that Pulkit was so lucky to be able to live all alone and the way he wished like and that she was jealous of him to be able to lead such a life full of freedom and free to do whatever he felt like doing.

When asked why she thinks that way, she said that every day like clockwork, I get up, do household chores, get ready for office, work my ass off until the end of the day and then I go home. Just when I feel like I want to take some rest and some alone time,

I am greeted by my family and am expected to make dinner or sit with the family and spend some time with them. I am not saying I don’t like my family or the idea of spending time with them, but sometimes when I need some time off, away from everyone and everything, I don’t have such a thing as privacy or my time.

Even if I am late from work, by the time I reach home, I get close to 5-6 calls asking by what time I will be reaching home. I understand their concern but sometimes when I have a really bad day I want to be just left alone for some time and you being alone get to do that. If you don’t feel like getting up tomorrow, nobody is going to ask what happened to you nor would they ask if you are going to wake up and do the chores.

You can do what you feel like and nobody is there to question you and I would trade my life if I can to be able to lead such a life.

Life is so funny.

It has given Pulkit all the freedom he can get in his life but all he wants is some company when he comes back home so that he would have someone to share details about his day then again there is Isha, who does love having family around but prefers being alone if given a chance.

We all have been such Pulkits and Ishas at least once in our lives and we know how it feels.

So if you are a Pulkit or an Isha, you should understand that life is about not what you have. But about what you can make do with what you have.

Don’t stop dreaming about what you want but also don’t be sad about what you lack. Just keep going.

How being an Outcast changed my Perception

Voruganti Pavan Tanay NagLeave a comment

Being the only male child in most Indian households in the 90s was a blessing because everyone wanted a legal heir to advance their legacy. I was one such fortunate child among them. Growing up, I was so pampered that I was the ultimate definition of a spoilt brat. I feared none, I listened to none and I did everything I wanted to and how I wanted to without thinking about the consequences nor thinking how my actions would hurt my near and dear. Because I was the “One” you see. I am a male child and the most loved kid. I knew that I had a father who would support me no matter what I did. He supported me if I did not want to go to school, he yelled at the teachers in my school if they punished me for anything stupid that I did and I always used to get my report card signed by him because I knew he wouldn’t say a word to me. I even remember once, in my 5th class, I was the new student in the school and my class teacher was a science faculty. It was rumoured that even the principal was scared to face her wrath. On the first day of my class, I see her kicking a fellow student, and that too a girl. The girl did her homework wrong and copied it from someone who also did it wrong so she made her climb the table and then asked her to bend over and then kicked that student from behind. Such was the faculty and I was terrified. And one fine day, I was also a victim of her anger. My arm was swollen because she hit me. The next day my father stormed off to the Principal’s office demanding an apology from the lecturer and threatened to shut the school down if this was repeated. So having such a dad, you can expect what follows next. At least now we have Pushpa movie to say “rukega nahi, jukhega nahi saala” but back then that was the hype and feeling and no words. I knew that my dad always had my back and slowly that turned me into a bully. Everyone feared me and nobody wanted to mess with me. And just when I was thinking that life is awesome all the deeds that I did previously wanted a payback.

I moved to a new city, a new school. Even though I was the new kid, being a bully myself I knew how to command respect. However, not knowing Hindi changed my bully status. I was asked to sit with nursery students after school until I learnt Hindi as per the school rules as Hindi was a mandatory subject. I managed to keep this arrangement a secret until a few students saw me sitting with nursery students learning Hindi. The next day they invited the entire 6th class students to see me and that’s it. Everyone made fun of me and no matter how hard I tried, I could not make the bullying stop. I also couldn’t make any friends because I didn’t know Hindi and they took advantage of it by mocking me in Hindi. And that’s when I understood how it feels when other people make fun of you or judge you. This one incident changed me to become a better person and understand what others go through because we never know what the other person has gone through or going through. That’s when I learnt not to do anything that I don’t love being done to me by others.