Every time she wipes…..

Every time she wipes a tear
To look up without fear
Then ends her feminity!

Every time she takes a breath
To walk a deserted street
Then ends her feminity!

Every time she crosses her ex
With a sniff of pride
Then ends her feminity!

Every time she caresses a man forehead
Forgetting her days exhaustion
Then ends her feminity!

Every time they call her names
She manages to shake a hand at the board
Then ends her feminity!

Every time she wakes up to emotions
And jerks them with dismay
Then ends her feminity!

.. SKM ..

An Unexpected Encounter

This encounter is one thing I think I cannot forget ever in my life. This happened almost 2 years back but when I look back I feel that it happened just yesterday.  I recently saw this video which made me write this small experience of mine.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSF_5MzA8cU

I was at Mahatma Gandhi Bus Station, Hyderabad. I went to give send off to my sister. We were waiting for her bus to arrive on the platform.

We were having small talks about “what’s next?, Job? Business, Future plans” etc, as we were talking I saw a woman approaching us carrying a baby with her.

She looked as if she was in her mid 20’s, her clothes were a bit shabby. She came to us and told us that she was a resident of Vijayawada and that she came to Hyderabad for a check up for her child. She told us that all the money she brought with her were spent for a checkup and now she is short of 100 rupees to reach home. She asked us to help her with some amount and she promised she will refund that money as soon as she reaches her place.  After listening to her, the first thing that came to my mind is that if I am in such a situation what will I be doing? I will either call my family members to send some money or go to the nearby police station for help. I wondered then why this woman is approaching passersby for help? After some thought, I told her that I don’t have money and I cannot help her. I asked her to leave. She stood there for about 2 minutes or so and I heard her utter these words” Will you die if you give some money?” I was taken aback by her sudden change of emotion and before I could react she fled from the place. I couldn’t help but think about the incident for the whole day and felt guilty. I Thought I was harsh wth the woman. But I felt that trusting my gut instinct was good and thinking thus I put my guiltiness at bay.

After a few days, I happened to be in the same bus stand in the same platform but this time I was boarding the bus. As usual I was waiting for my bus to arrive and the same woman approached me asking for money with the same lame reason that she came to Hyderabad for her child’s checkup and short of money for return journey. Recognizing her I asked her if she still couldn’t collect money to go home for two months?  She had a surprising look on her face and pretended that she didn’t hear any of it and when I tried to confront she tried to give me a slip. I said I would give her the whole charges and, in fact, accompany her to the bus she has to board. She politely refused that offer and said “sir please just give me the money I don’t want to trouble you much.” I repi=lied that it was not a problem at all and asked her to accompany me to the police station so that they can do something to help her reach her home. The moment I mentioned Police she took to her heels and she vanished into the crowd of the bus depot in a jiffy.

I felt better that I relied on my gut instinct.

After that, I experienced many such incidents in Hyderabad in different degrees. In Tirupathi many a times, I find people approaching and requesting for help with some money saying that they came for the darshan of the lord and lost their purse and with that all their money. I heard few of my friends who shared the same experience I had in various places.

In the meanwhile, I read these posts and stories put up in facebook and other social media to be careful and aware of street beggars. I am not saying that all beggars are like this, but I am suggesting that majority of them are. Helping is good but help where it makes people lazy and where it leads to wrong paths is not recommended.

This incident reminds me of a famous quotation

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The point I want to bring home to all those who read this post is that donate money, give your support and help where a person is truly benefited in a positive aspect and for the growth of that person but not otherwise.

The funny thing is I was discussing this story with my mom and she told me she too had such unexpected encounters with 2 people a “gangireddula” fellow who when was asked to come later by my mother said “if I come tomorrow will you give me one lakh rupees? No na so why are you asking me to come again.

Another one was a ten-year-old kid who came directly asking for 10 rupees. And when my mom asked him what he will do with them he told her that he will drink tea and that it is none of her business for a 10 rupees she is behaving as if she is giving him crores of rupees.

Finally, I want to conclude it by saying that support that cause which is for the betterment of the society but not for its degradation.

In my Dreams……………!

This is something which goes way back into the past making me nostalgic about the times I had wild discussions with my friends and enjoyed sleeping under the star-studded sky. This is that moment when I had a friend who never lived in the present and was always dreaming. It bothered me so much that I wanted to try and live in his shoes, knowing how he never saw anything that went around in front of his eyes.

He often landed himself in troubles because of his dreams. It went to such an extent that one day the director of our college visited our class, while the rest of the class stood to greet him, this guy was off in his dream world, sitting and staring outside the window which was beside him. He got punished for being absent minded and even then he didn’t mend his ways. Intrigued, I asked him what he dreamt about. After so much of coaxing, he let me in on it and started narrating why he became such an idiotic dreamer. After many years, today, I want to share the dream he shared with me.

In his narration, this is how it goes:

I am a sound sleeper by habit. If I sleep I won’t even know what’s going on around me. And by telling you how I sleep, I also want to put in that I usually don’t dream but whenever I do, all I dream about is falling down or seeing somebody die.

One day a dream changed me. It was the most wonderful dream I ever had. I saw a girl in my dream and after that dream I never wanted to stop dreaming about Her.

I never had a peaceful childhood. My parents always used to quarrel and fight and whenever there was a fight I used to either run away somewhere for some time until things settle down or go to my room lock myself up and cry till I sleep. I am not complaining or saying that I have problems because most of us have our own score of sorrows, mine was a bit tough because it involved me and seeing my parents fight I don’t know why, but I always craved for love and a life partner, from my childhood.

It indeed sounds foolish and stupid but it went on in my mind to such an extent that when I was studying my 7th class, putting up some courage I went up to my father and told him that I wished to get married and that too now, in that very moment…… my father had a good laugh and said “Look, son, there is still a lot of time for you to get married. Child marriage is illegal and nobody will give their girl to you at this age because you are a small kid. You cannot handle such a big responsibility. So have patience, you will be married at the right time.”

After this encounter, my mother, sisters and everyone near and dear to me got to know what I asked my father and they had a jolly good time making fun of me. But having gone through all that I still didn’t get over that feeling of falling in love and getting married to the girl I loved maybe because seeing my parents quarrel deep in my heart an idea to marry the girl whom I love got embedded. .

And this feeling slowly started growing into an insatiable desire to find a loved one.

Then I saw her, for the first time in my life, in my dream. That’s the day I never wanted to wake up from her dreams. She is not a beauty nor is she a princess, but she definitely became the world for me.In my dream, I saw her for the first time in my College. It was my first day and I was rushing to catch up with my class when she was coming down in the opposite direction, I couldn’t help but stop and look back at her and admire her. That moment, it was the first time in my life that my heart skipped a beat! That moment I could not think of anything but wishing to see her again and wishing she would turn back once again before she goes. At that moment, I just thought how amazing it would be to have her as a classmate rather than a senior.

She left my eye view and I started to rush to my class coming out of her trance. I entered the class and took my place,

I was in a trance again when I saw her. I crossed my fingers and was praying to god to make her be my classmate.I think God heard my prayers, she came inside the classroom and sat down in the next bench to me.

I don’t remember exactly how it felt like in the dream because I hardly concentrated on my class. The feeling was electric. Exactly in 10 minutes, when I was about to see her face, the alarm in my phone brought me back to life.

I cursed myself and tried to get back to sleep to continue the dream. But I couldn’t resume my sleep or finish that dream. I was in the dream whole day, thinking about the dream and was feeling very bad that I couldn’t see her properly.

I know that a dream is not a real one but, I do not know why I was eager and anxious to resume the same dream where I have stopped just for once, so that I can see her at least once.

In the night before sleeping, I prayed to God so that he grants me my wish. I don’t remember even remember being so desperate about something like this in my life. I slept well that day but bad luck was looming around me, I didn’t dream about her again. I tried to get back for a few days like this and one fine day when I was about to lose hope I finally dreamt about her again.

I saw her right there in my class wearing a red and black combination traditional salwar kameez which made her look even rosier than her actual self. She was about 5 feet; she is of the height of my chest. She had a perfectly figured body, not extremely thin or extremely fat but a fabulous one which would fit in and go with any type of wardrobe! She had slender legs which will make any sane person like me go mad after her. She has long silky hair, which fall in front of her face from the side in such a way that it covers her face making her more beautiful and making it a bit difficult to the person to have a proper look at that beautiful face. At that very moment she slowly and momentarily taking the few strands which were blocking my view, while reading the book she had in her hand curled them back at her ear. The act was small but ecstatic.

I don’t know how this mechanism works, but you feel some sort of feeling in your mind when someone is watching you. Maybe that’s what has happened to her, she lifted her head from the book she was reading and was looking straight at me through her glasses. Now I was really caught!!

I had no other option but to smile sheepishly that I was caught staring at her! She returned my smile and was back to her work. I was still observing her, watching her every move and registering her every act and feature because I thought, maybe, I won’t get another chance to look at her and I wanted to relish all her greatness before I wake up from my dream. Her eyes were like small leaves fitting perfectly in her small but pretty face which made her look attractive. I couldn’t stop myself from staring at her and looking at her eyes. They were crystal clear just like two small black round balls in small leaf-like sockets. Her nose always formed a small curve when she laughed. Small dimples formed on her cute cheeks when she smiled. Her lips were small luscious ones which looked like small petals of roses which are light pinkish in colour hiding her gorgeously beautiful white teeth. She looked mesmerizingly cute when she put up a pout because of disappointment or when in need of something. In short, she looked like a goddess to me and I was in disbelief.

I only saw how her lips curled up when she read a piece of article that was blemishing, I only saw how her eyes sparkle when she loved what she read. I saw exactly how her gestures spoke to me and knew in that very same moment, that I can never find another person who could complement her gestures or can make me fall in love with anything more subtly expressive than her.

I saw my mother’s eyes sparkle when I achieved something and made her proud, I saw the same sparkle in her eyes when she caught me admiring her. I saw her blushing and couldn’t help but smile knowing that I was the cause for her blush. I forgot to be myself when she blushed under my stare.

I wonder whether it really is a dream or am I really seeing such a beautiful girl. Our class got finished and we were about to leave when she called me by my name. I turned back and lo! She was not there! She vanished into thin air. Now I was shocked. I was about to panic when I heard my mom calling me to get up and get ready as I was already late for my class.

From then on, I never wanted to come out of my dream. I missed her name and her face, but I still remember how it felt when I saw her.

When I saw her I was not able to see anything beyond her, everything was blank and unclear but the only thing which was clearly visible to me was her face which was smiling at me lovingly, probably indicating to me that we are going to meet very soon for sure. I really wished all of it to be real, but I had to accept the stark reality that it is a dream and cannot be a reality.

In my dreams

Once I heard my mother tell my sister that dreams that come in the morning come true! From that day on till this day I am anxiously waiting to meet the girl I dreamt about.

“If there ever will be one wish that I could make, I would wish for that one dream to happen, or better yet I would wish to live in that dream over and over again. For as long as all my hair would turn grey, as long as my skin ages and for as long as I carry medicines to keep me going. Because I knew, the day I saw her in my dreams, was the day I stopped living the reality and I know right now, that my reality exists somewhere beyond all this, somewhere where she resides.”

He thus ended his story about how he saw the girl, whom he thought is going to be his life, for as long as he’d remember. I don’t know where he is today and if he found the girl of his dreams but I do hope with all my heart that he finds the girl of his dreams. And not just because he would be happy, but for once,

I know that she sure would be the luckiest girl ever, to be loved endlessly by someone with all his heart, forever.

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Courtesy: Sai Bhavana Vemuri. without whom this most would not have been such a beautiful one.

Never Judge a book by its cover…. Because appearances may deceive.

-A true story.

We often hear this quote in our school days. Our teachers make us bi-heart these proverbs and quotations, I never knew what they meant. Seriously speaking, I never understood what sense they make for example: searching for a needle in a hay stack, a stitch in time saves nine, never judge a book by its cover, make hay while the sun shines. I still don’t understand the meaning of certain quotes and idioms I learnt in my childhood, but eventually during the journey of my life in search of my quest I have been finding the real meaning of the quotes and what they meant and why they were taught to us in our childhood by our teachers because whatever you learn though at present it makes no sense and meaningless but you will in some point of your life realize that “that” which you learned then has become useful today.

Today I want to share a small experience which gave me the meaning of the above titled quotation. During my initial years in Hyderabad I had to change a lot of accommodations because I never got the proper one which would fit my lifestyle. Finally I went to a trust hostel set up for the welfare of our community students to support such students during their schooling in Hyderabad. I shifted to my room and was just settling, as I was the “New Guy” the old students started introducing themselves to me and I in turn introduced myself, my first day with the new hostel went peaceful, only one more student shares my room, he pursues his Chartered accountancy and hardly stays in the room so it is a perfect sync for me in my style because I have the whole room for myself the whole day long! Days went by and I started making new friends hanging around with them more and enjoying their company though none of them were not from my stream or from the place I came from. T all felt as f they were a part of my small world. Out of my group there was a person who was not that conversant, he was mostly silent r grumpy (or at least I thought so) so I thought maybe he has some ego issues or he feels that he s something great. Later on when I kept interacting with a few of the ld students I got to know from them that his name was Mani Shankar, he was our batch and a nut crack person it s better if you stay a bit away from him. Time passed by all of them started getting busy in their own lives and I was busy in mine, I often pass a friendly smile when I come across him but never attempted to make a conversation. Slowly we started crossing our paths more frequently in hostel and making more attempts just than simply smiling. It has been a year now or more I don’t know but I will tell you what all I heard about him or felt about him turned out to be wrong because he was such a friendly and nice person. It was only that he doesn’t like anyone to enter in his personal space that quickly but once he lets someone, he becomes so close that you cannot imagine how you will be without him. Though we don’t talk regularly or hang out together much yet we share that bond which is in fact a very tender bond it cannot be said as friendship, it is more than that we have shared something very deep dark secrets and behaved like bff’s though we hardly know each other and have been together only for an year. This is when I realized that we should

“Never Judge a Book by its cover because appearances may deceive you”.

He now has completed his studies and most probably will be heading for higher studies in foreign. Today is a very special day for him. It’s his birthday. I wish he gets success at all his endeavors. Happy Birthday Mani. Wish you Luck!